First-Time Hookup Sex Positions

The first time we have sex with a new partner can be incredibly exciting. There’s the exhilaration of the unknown, the delight of discovering thehidden sweet spots and distinct turn-ons and kinks. But it can also be incredibly nerve-wracking. Will you be sexually compatible? Will they be into the same bedroom fun as you? And can you make that first time explosive without being too aggressive too fast?

Tanya Tate, an award winning performer and director says that even the professionals don’t try to go for all the bells and whistles the first time out of the gate.  "Do porn stars show off on the first time they hook up for sexwith someone? Personally I prefer more intimate positions, even though if someone has watched my movies they know I am capable of doing a whole load of wild things,” Tate says. “When it’s the first time, they don’t get the whole show. I make them work for it; it gives them something to want to come back for. I want to feel the chemistry and let sex take its natural course as opposed to “acting” like a porn star in the bedroom,” Tate says.

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“We tend to be in our heads, creating stories about ourselves and our partner. Judging and criticizing is not sexy. When we overanalyze each other and ourselves, we lose excitement and pleasure. We can enjoy every moment if we just tune into our bodies, let go and have fun,” says Tatiana Dellepiane, a sex and relationship coach and creator of the Sensual Awakening Movement. When engaging in foreplay or sex, let go of the expectation of coming or making her come, says Dellepiane. “When you let go of agenda, you can relax into the experience and feel more pleasure.  It also helps her to feel safe and to know that you are not giving in order to get,” Dellepiane says.

Try Breathing Together

“When we are in sync with our breath it brings us into a trance state. Both partners will become connected to their bodies and their breath, and that brings serotonin (happy drug) levels up,” says Dellepiane. Who doesn't want that?

Eye Gazing & Touching

“Looking into each other's eyes can create increased intimacy and connection and can be playful and sexy,” says Dellepiane. Plus, for more intimacy, try caressing. When we caress each other with feather-light touch, we actually feel more sensation and pleasure. “The more often we do it, the more you feel. Touching in this way raises the anticipation of sex, which increases dopamine levels in the body,” says Dellepiane.

Strong (But Careful) Start

You shouldn't be too aggressive or presumptuous the first time you have sex with someone new. “You may want to avoid anal — unless she's directing you that way! Aside from missionary, a good position to try is her on top. This way she can feel like she's in control and you can reinforce how sexy she looks and feels from that vantage point,” says dating and relationship expert, Andrea Syrtash, author of the new Audible book, 'He's Just Not Your Type (And That's a Good Thing)'. Some sex positions (like, say, anal) are something to work up to, others ensure a fun time right off the bat — here’s some great ones that will get your groove off to a strong start.

Yab Yum

This position involves sitting up straight looking at each others eyes. “She straddles him wrapping her legs around him.  I like this position because you both are giving and receiving. It creates instant connection and intimacy,” says Pirandello.

Woman On Top

“She has more control of the experience, which is helpful in a culture that tends to put much of the pressure to perform on men,” says Pirandello. This is especially helpful if it's your first time and you don't know much about what they like. “She has the opportunity to take charge and show him how fast, slow, hard or soft she tends to like it. This is very important information when you are just getting to know a new partner,” says Pirandello.

Missionary

It's a safe and loving position that helps build trust. “It doesn't have to be boring. Placing a pillow underneath her butt can increase pleasure by changing the angle. Using your hands to touch different parts of her body can make the sex less genitally focused (like it is in porn.) This can help men to last longer and have more of a total body experience,” Dellepiane says.

Alternate Missionary

“You can raise one of her legs or knees so that you're entering her at a better angle. Think of your body lying on a five-degree rotation from hers,” says Billy Procida, host of The Manwhore Podcast. This will also allow more space for a deeper thrust. “Remember, you don't need to be long to get deep!” says Procida.

Doggy

“Take a knee! Act like football practice and be on one knee instead of two. You'll have a better range of motion and better ability thrust deeper. This tweak is also more comfortable than kneeling on two knees with your legs squeezed together,” says Procida. “Give her ass a squeeze. If she moans, give it a (moderate!) slap for good measure,” Procida says. 

Reverse Cowgirl 2.0

This is a great position for new lovers who aren’t quite comfortable with eye contact during sex. “Take the classic Reverse Cowgirl and have the man bend his knees so that the woman can grind and rub her pelvic area against his lower legs during penetration. He gets a great view and the ability to thrust from below and she gets to control the pace and depth while facilitating the clitoral rubbing that tends to lead to orgasm,” says Astrologist's resident sexologist, 

Oral

“This is the ultimate intimate connection,” says Garren James, founder ofCowboys4Angels,  a high-end luxury male companion agency.  “There is no better way to get your new lady friend excited, and screaming your name than showing her you aren’t afraid to get down. It’s a very intimate moment and can really connect two people, literally through all your five senses!” says James.

RELATED READING: The 37 Best Sex Positions To Try Tonight

Calves Around Neck

This position allows deep penetration, access to her G-spot, and eye contact, says James. “If you want to be a little more adventurous but not come off to strong, have her rests her calves on your shoulders, and if she’s extra flexible the position can be even more fun. You can deeply penetrate in this position so thrust in slowly at first to measure her pain. It’s a great way to also reach her G-spot, as well as still maintain eye contact,” says James.